Life can be full of regrets, but you can’t let the past dictate you. I have this one vivid memory, where I call someone a ‘stupid moron’. It was at work, and it wasn’t my proudest moment. I said it out of anger and the person on the other end took it kinda personally. I don’t know whatever happened to her. All I know is I said something in the heat of the moment, and I didn’t mean it. The flashback will happen to me when I’m not doing anything remotely interesting. And at that moment I remember, I feel terrible. Horrible as a matter of fact. Horrible that I could have been such a dick about such a stupid thing. I also remember high school being a place I really disliked, that the people, the culture of my home town was so privileged to have the local tar sands driving the entire town, and the was the golden egg of Alberta. The attitude that gets bred up there is one of backwards arrogance. I hated it, and all the popular kids used to pick on me for being different. I truly hated some of those kids back home, and I regretted not doing something to one of the truly meaner kids. Can I live the rest of my life thinking of those moments where I could have done something back, can I live with the regret of not starting a fight with someone that deserved it? Regret can eat away at someone.
I certainly know that I won’t cuss someone for forgetting something, or lose my patience with a co-worker because they don’t understand. Because that was me at one point. I know that calling them inappropriate names is childish and foolish (and these days can cause a law suit). So I see that as a learning opportunity. I don’t have to start any fist fights with anyone from my graduating class. When I moved south, it was to obtain my bachelor’s degree and be part of a city with great intelligence, class and wit. From that standpoint, I wanted to be a more rounded person, and I’ve accomplished that. Who knows about the kids from back home, I might be the snotty one, but at least I can be aware of it.
Regret is only possible through past events. And rather than look at what I’ve done wrong in the past, I’m choosing to learn from them. Perhaps one day I’ll be one of those intelligent, classy, witty folks in the city.
– Dexter
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| This picture has nothing to do with the article, it is however awesome. |